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Really when you think about it, it is a wonder that there are not more people with sexual problems. With all the things that work against them, the surprise is not that people have sexual problems; the surprise is that there are couples with satisfying sex lives.I have often heard in reference to sex that God has a sense of humor. Think about the differences between men and women. Men want sex to feel close; women want to feel close to have sex. Men take two minutes to be ready for intercourse; women take twenty minutes to be ready for intercourse.These differences between the sexes can hinder enjoyment of sex. Regardless of gender, almost without fail the person with a high desire for sex will choose a partner with a low desire. Add in the fact that whenever you go to bed with your partner you have all your past, present and future running interference. Often the result is a recipe for disaster.Like it or not, unless you are conscious and careful, you will take your past to bed with you. You will end up with past lovers, possibly your parents, friends or others in bed with you. Thoughts and voices in your head that say, “this is acceptable, this is what to expect, good girls don’t”, or other ideas that you have internalized as beliefs. You may even have your past experiences with your partner yammering for attention in your head. “There he goes again, just thinking of himself, every time, . . .”Today will also be pulling at your attention. There may be a lack of privacy, interruptions by children, telephone, television, or a lack of enthusiasm due to fatigue or stress. Whatever it might be that takes your attention away from your partner and lovemaking, it is going to hinder your enjoyment of sex.The future also intrudes with thoughts of bills, chores, or plans. The list is endless. There is the joke about the wife who looks up during sex and thinks, “Beige . . . I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige . . . ” The sad thing is that this is all to close to the truth in many relationships. Instead of enjoying the time together in bed, their minds are on what is coming next.The only way to rid your bedroom of these distractions is to become fully present in the moment when you are making love. If sex was good at the beginning, you may have had the feeling that time almost stopped, that the two of you were momentarily cut off from the world. If you were able to enter that world where only two can go, chances are it was because you were fully present; your attention was focused on that moment and on each other. You have the ability to reenter that world where passionate lovers go. If you have not yet experienced that height of passion it is possible for you.It involves some discipline and some practice. But conscious lovemaking is something that you can learn to enjoy in your relationship. You can awaken to great sex.